Day 41

Good rainy day everyone here in NS,

Once again, life's been busy and another couple of weeks has passed since my last post. I hope that everyone has been making an effort to make positive changes? Just yesterday I found myself inspired yet again by a couple of people in my life very near and dear. One was a good friend who stopped me from late night snacking during a movie and the other was a good friend who let me know how much I'd inspired her.

In the last couple of weeks specifically, I've really realized how great of a support system I have around me every day and I am so thankful for all the people who play a key part in my success. Thus far, I'm down a total of 12 pounds and tomorrow is the end of my 5th week. I had about a week where I felt like I wasn't doing as well as I wanted, but I think that everyone goes through the emotional ups and downs from time to time, right?  I'm back in a good frame of mind and feeling great about my success thus far. A couple of days ago, my friend/ house mate Amy and I started at the gym again and had a great first workout! It was nice to blast my tunes and sweat it out- it really did feel great.

I have also realized as of late, how much my upbringing has had an effect on my overall being. I grew up in an atmosphere with 2 parents my whole life, where most of my peers were subjected to divorce/separation. I feel as though this has helped me grow into the generally stable, well-rounded individual I am today. I always try my best to look for the good and to help others when ever I can. There were times growing up where money was definitely tight, but as kids, we never went without; because of that we didn't always have the healthiest options available, but made due with what we had.

I can remember from as early as the age of 7, I knew that food was an issue for me. Up until this point I was bean-pole thin and all of a sudden I began gaining weight pretty quickly-by the time I hit the 'Big P' I was considerably overweight for a boy of my age/height. It's much easier to not feel accountable when you're young and that was a huge problem for me. I was the kid that hated going outside (unless it was sledding :)) and I got used to a consistent diet of junk food. At this point I was 12/13 and had major mental issues when it came to my body. I was beyond self conscious and really didn't know how to make things better mentally, or physically. In school, Health class was (and still is) a joke in the education system. I understand that parents are supposed to pass good habits on to their kids, but many kids do not grow up in such an atmosphere and I feel as though the public school system needs to have more input in ensuring it's part of the curriculum from P-12. I feel as though had I had the tools to just live a generally healty life from a much younger age, that I would not have struggled as much as I did throughout my youth.

The entirety of my teenage years and even into my twenties, was a consistent struggle with weight/ body image. I was never just happy and that's a really sad fact to have to face. Even when I was thin and people used to comment how good I looked, I was still miserable because I could not let myself celebrate my success and be happy for me! It's taken me until now, 27 years to better understand the connect between my feelings, my food issues and what I need to do to change my life for the better. This is and will remain a work-in-progress for the rest of my life and I'm ok with that now. I know that this is something that I will struggle with forever. This time however, I know I have the tools, the support and the courage to do what I need to do for me- no one else. This is the first time in my life that I've felt it's ok to be selfish when it comes to putting yourself first. I am glad that I've had the struggles growing up, as I don't think I'd be the same person today, but my goal now is to stop other kids and young adults from going through the same issues I did growing up. I don't want anyone else to miss out on anything because they are unhappy. When you're unhappy, it's almost impossible to see all the good there is around you.

I generally like to keep things light, but I guess I'm feeling a little more serious today. I hope that everyone has a great day and something fun planned for the weekend!

Much love-

Leo